Dear Jane, I’ve Got the Birthday Blues

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Dear Jane,

My 40th birthday is right around the corner and instead of planning a massive birthday bash to celebrate the milestone, I find myself feeling depressed and anxious about the big day. 

I’m in a relationship with a really great guy, but he doesn’t want to get married yet. His unwillingness to commit is the only major problem that we have, but it’s a big one as my biological clock ticks louder every day. 

Having children is definitely a life experience that I want to have, and unfortunately, I’m not getting any younger. So if I’m being honest, a part of me feels like I’m wasting my time. 

My friends are all married and mothers and I’m not sure that being reminded that they have what I want on my 40th birthday is the best idea. I just want to stay in bed all day and just let my birthday pass on by like any other day. 

Jane, how do I beat my birthday blues?

– Anxious and Almost 40



nighty night on bedside table
betoken pain cream, bath bomb and sleep capsules and eye mask

Thanks to modern day technology, women now have a way to take control of when, or if, they want to have children. Don’t let your age define your ability to be a mother. 

Dear Anxious and Almost 40,

First off, happy birthday! But I totally understand if you don’t feel like celebrating it this year. There’s so much pressure on birthdays to throw a party, find the perfect outfit, and to get the perfect gift. But it’s okay to celebrate it in any way that brings you true happiness.

betoken cbd bath bomb, nighty night, self care

Regarding your boyfriend, I would have a serious conversation with him to see where he’s at with marriage and children to see if you can get on the same page about a timeline for those relationship milestones. If you can’t, then it might be time to reevaluate if it’s worth staying in a relationship with someone who doesn’t want the same things out of life that you do. 

As far as your main birthday gift, I would treat yourself with a few jars of the Hello Mellow capsules to help ease your birthday anxiety and then I would give yourself the gift of researching your options of freezing your eggs. 

Thanks to modern day technology, women now have a way to take control of when, or if, they want to have children. Don’t let your age define your ability to be a mother, you can also adopt and foster children if you’re open to those choices.

As far as other gifts, I think you should treat yourself to a Betoken Birthday Bash and pick up a Big Night In bundle that comes with Nighty Night capsules, Pain, Pain, Go Away Cream, and a Go Away, I’m Fizzy CBD bath bomb

It’s the perfect way to unwind, relax, and peacefully usher in a new year. Enjoy some wine while you soak in a CBD-infused bath and rub the pain-relieving into your temples to ease your tension on turning the big 4-0.

And last, but not least, I know it can be tough to not compare your life to the life of your friends, but suck it up butter up, and turn to them for support, and not as competition. Invite them over for a low-key birthday brunch, pass out Hellow Mellow capsules, keep the mimosas flowing, and know that the best years of your life are yet to come.

xoxo, Jane

Jane is the fictional heroine of the Betoken lifestyle blog, Good For Jane. Think of Jane as your virtual BFF. She lives a healthy lifestyle, but not like, over the top. When it’s not a pandemic, she loves hanging out with her friends, dating, and exercising in public. Throughout the pandemic she has baked her fair share of sourdoughs, gotten more than her fair share of takeout to “support her local restaurants”, ordered wine online and taken plenty of CBD to keep the anxiety at bay. 

Jane is also the editor of the Dear Jane column. If you have a question for Jane, you can email her at

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