Dear Jane, I’m Sexually Anxious
Like a lot of other ladies, I’ve been planning for a super social summer since I’ve been vaccinated and the country is slowly opening back up. This includes upping my dating game since it’s been about a year and a half since I’ve had sex.
I was seeing someone right before quarantine started and then that quickly faded out, which meant that my sex life also fizzled out.
Now that it’s safer to start dipping my toe into the dating pool, my anxiety has been through the roof thinking about having to be naked in front of someone again. I don’t feel sexy and I’m not sure I still know how to have sex.
Also, swiping left and right on the dating apps makes my mind race trying to figure out how to play the online dating game and then waiting for my potential suitors to reply.
Jane, how can I calm my sex anxiety so I can enjoy my summer?
– Trying to Bring Sexy Back
Date with intention but also have fun with it. Do everything from a place of self-love.”
Dear Trying to Bring Sexy Back,
I’m gearing up for my hot girl summer too, so I totally get it about being ready to enjoy some fun in the sun with a new guy by your side. But it’s also very natural to be a bit insecure and anxious about jumping back into the saddle after having a sex hiatus. So don’t fret, I have a few ideas on how to get your sexy back just in time for a safe summer of fun.
Reconnect with your own body
Before you jump back into the saddle with someone else, try getting really comfortable with your own body and getting clear on what brings you pleasure. This will help to boost your self-confidence and ease your anxiety when you’re ready to get physical with someone else.
I would treat yourself to the Big Night In bundle that comes with a Go Away, I’m Fizzy CBD bath bomb so you can soak in a hot bath and enjoy the soothing properties of the bath bomb all over your body. While soaking be sure to take note of what feels good, and what doesn’t.
It also comes with the Pain, Pain, Go Away Cream that you can massage into your muscles and skin as a way to alleviate any pain, but it’s also a great way to get comfortable and confident in your own skin.
Taking the time to get to know every inch of your body will allow you to be secure in your femininity and will make physical intimacy with someone else more enjoyable.
The bundle also comes with Nighty Night capsules which is an all-natural sleep aid that helps to calm the mind for a restorative night’s sleep. This will help in not driving yourself crazy by staying up all night swiping left and right on your dating apps. So I would prioritize taking care of yourself, learning to love yourself from the inside out, and owning your femine power and sexuality.
Pro tip: Date with intention but also have fun with it. Know what you want but also have the flexibility to date outside of the box and remember to do it from a place of self-love.
Jane is the fictional heroine of the Betoken lifestyle blog, Good For Jane. Think of Jane as your virtual BFF. She lives a healthy lifestyle, but not like, over the top. When it’s not a pandemic, she loves hanging out with her friends, dating, and exercising in public. Throughout the pandemic she has baked her fair share of sourdoughs, gotten more than her fair share of takeout to “support her local restaurants”, ordered wine online and taken plenty of CBD to keep the anxiety at bay.
Jane is also the editor of the Dear Jane column. If you have a question for Jane, you can email her at email@example.com.
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